Interconnectedness

I caught up with a couple of friends this week that I haven't talked to in awhile.  

I felt...connected...even though I haven't spoken with Seth in at least a year, we have a history together.  I'll always love him, though in a much different way than when we lived together.  I'm happy that he's put up with me all these years and that we still have a friendship.  Lane and I have a history that we have maintained, though our conversation took an...interesting...turn this week.  I love when my friends challenge me and our friendship.  Jeff is one of my oldest friends, though certainly not my closest.  I've known him since high school, when I was much more awkward, weighed less, but was less saucy and cute as well.  When Kathy and I talk, it's like no time has passed, we have that kind of friendship.  I miss Sabrina, I wish that I knew where she was.  I miss Tammy, we try, but it's never the same.  I love and miss Jaeyne, we're starting to keep up via IM.  Vikki and I have gotten back in touch and I love this.

This doesn't even include the friends that I live near and see regularly.  I'm sure there are others that I'm not thinking of right now and I'm going to do a Homer "Du-oh!" and slap my forehead, but what this is about is not to list every friend I've ever had and why I keep in touch, but to share the feeling I had this morning after talking to Seth.  I felt...connected.  I felt this firm foundation, this web of friends that is part of who I am and part of who I will grow to be.  It made me feel more grounded and lighter all at the same time. 

I'm sure it doesn't hurt that I actually got more than four hours sleep last night, either!

Super exciting update:  I got a myspace message from Tiff and Diego!  Wow.  Cool.  I'm so excited.

 

Ceremony

Just re-writing this whole thing because it rambles and doesn't make sense.

Oh nevermind.  I give up for now.  It just isn't what I want it to be.  The thoughts are still hard to capture and crumbly.  I think they keep changing because of "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress." (society structure)

In any case, I've come upon a situation that I don't know how to approach.  I can make guesses, but there isn't a cultural standard for it.  Henry VIII would have been easier.  I would have fluffed my cleavage and hoped it was in his younger, more vigorous days.

The room is dark

I curtsy

I begin to straighten

Realizing

The floor is velvet

And my steps unsure

I'm told to kneel

But can't arise again

The hands reach out

I bat them away

I was trying to be all discreet, but I think everyone who reads this knows by now that I'm dating someone who is poly.  So, I'm going to stop dancing around the issue and come right out about it.  

The situation that I have no friggin' clue how to approach is meeting The Senior Wife.  It's not usual to meet someone who knows that you've been intimate with their husband and the meeting isn't an ugly, jealous scene.  It really isn't.  What do you say?  Yes, I do have some thoughts, but the irreverent part of me thinks that I can't really say, "Hello, isn't his cock delicious?"  It just doesn't flow somehow.  But it's going to feel odd as hell to sit there with someone while having wicked, decadent thoughts about a man and it's okay to have them.  Permission is sometimes a scary thing. 

Now that I write about this, I think it's the permission of the situation that is scariest.  The freedom.  The lack of restrictions.  

Okay, so it all turned out fabulously.  Worry for nothing.